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  • Eryl McCaffrey

Fear Surfacing Post-NY’s Resolutions?

Many of us felt like we set the world on fire with our New Year’s Resolutions this year- I know I did. In truth, I really feel that way. I’m going big and being bold in 2016. Does this sound familiar? The only thing standing between me and abundance is mindset. FEAR. It’s likely the case for you, too.

I’ve spent the past few weeks journaling, brainstorming, meditating, declaring, clarifying, breaking down, breaking through and being in action towards my goals for this year. I feel like this golden light has filled my soul and it’s energizing my mind and keeping me in alignment with what matters most to me: balance. So why the hesitation?

I know this sensation in my chest and stomach all too well. Tightness…unease…nervousness…tension. It’s fear a knockin’ and its seductive fingers promise to grip the life right out of me. You know it, too. Maybe you feel it in your throat or chest, but you feel it. For me, it surfaces most when real, possible, attainable, long-standing success becomes a part of my present or future path. That’s because an old fear-based story I have consists of not deserving or trusting success.

I’m reaching out to some big names, big brands, incredible people, places and events to take ME to the next level…and guess what? Part of me wants to throw up. Hide in a corner. Pretend I never dreamed these dreams and had the tools in my toolkit to get there. Ignore the truth that not pursuing my higher self would lead me empty, constantly looking to be fulfilled.

The power we have to overcome our FEAR and ‘stick to resolutions’ stems from that mighty muscle upstairs: our brains. I see this fear for what it is- a story- and that means it is no longer attached to me. It has been identified. Made out. Caught red handed. It cannot exist as long as I’m pointing my mental flashlight at it and telling it to skip town.

Fear is at the base of many limiting beliefs and it can prevent us from getting to where we want to be and feel this year, tomorrow, in 1o years or whenever. We fear change, judgement, joy, love, connection, presence, power, acknowledgment, forgiveness, hope. We fear all sorts of things because of our library of stories.

Those books we carry around in our heads that we pull out time after time-their pages tattered from overuse, stained with dirty fingerprints- tell us who we are. They tell us stories like we’re not good enough, we’re awkward, we’re alone, we don’t deserve _X_, bad things happen to us, we’re not loveable, we’re not safe etc, etc. It’s all about the ‘good’ things we are not or the ‘bad’ things we are. They’re never nice bedtimes stories, they’re fear-based audiobooks on repeat… and we play the part of both the voiceover artist and the listener. 

Don Miguel Ruiz describes these stories as lies. Lies that we’ve created or absorbed from other people, over the course of our lives. The more we believe in them and use them, the stronger they are. The more we challenge them, the weaker and less likely they are to survive. If you can pause and hear that voice, you’re already-in a way- identifying it as something that’s separate from you. It’s your Ego talking and your Higher Self is listening.

It takes real patience and presence to change our behaviours and beliefs. It takes awareness to catch ourselves when we’re letting this abstract thing with an ugly intention, called fear, take us over. But, it’s worth it. On the other side of this mental work- this discipline and perseverance in identifying our limiting beliefs- is freedom. There’s unimaginable possibility and potential. There’s joy.

So, I’m diving in headfirst. I’m giving fear the middle finger and I’m tuning out those stories each time they surface, or as often as I can. One step. One breath at a time. It won’t be perfect. I won’t always be triumphant against fear, but I’ll do my best. I’ll keep facing fear with an open heart. That’s my New Year’s Resolution.

Namaste. ❤

First photo: ZombieGerbil

Second Photo: Claire Cole Photography

Third Photo: Crystal Hahn Photography

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© 2019 by Eryl McCaffrey